Woah, you guys!
Yesterday was very special for me. I know it’s not like my post was shared all over the internet and the Today show called, but to see what incredible people I have in my life felt so sweet. I thought for sure that post was coming across as, “Poor me! Life is so hard for a perfectionist!” (Let’s face it, that’s basically what I was saying.) But so many wonderful people reached out and related with me, and I have felt more encouraged than I have in a long time. I hope that goes both ways!
So, to whoever read even part of the longest post in internet history, I am sincerely so thankful!
Today’s post will be much shorter and far less dramatic. . .
The past few years, I haven’t really made strong resolutions for the new year. That should surprise no one if you read even a tenth of yesterday’s post. This year is all about progress for progress’ sake (instead of floating, as it’s been other years), so I’ve made some goals this year to keep me both personally motivated, but also keep them attainable. The goal of my goals (ha!) is to feel better about myself, rather than depressed. So, these are more about general areas of focus than actual checklists.
Don’t worry, I’m not sharing my whole list! (Janssen, thanks for inspiring me on that one.) Here’s four that might be of interest.
1) LOOK my kids in the eye: I’m fairly good about not being on my phone ’round the clock, although I could stand to improve. However, in general I’ve noticed I go long stretches without reallllly looking at my kids when we talk (or when I’m bossing them around from the next room). I’m busy cleaning, feeding the baby, eating, etc. (Also, I’m almost always deep in thought. Make it stop, brain!) I’ve tried this the past few days and already feel a difference in connecting with my children, even if I’m in the middle of disciplining them or simply smiling at them from across the room while they play.
2) Get better at MOMMY TIME-OUTS: Having a third baby (my oldest was still three years old at the time) has rocked our little world. I used to pride myself in keeping my temper at bay, but let’s just say it’s gotten the better of me far too many times the past six months. I hate going to bed knowing I potentially scarred my children for life. I want to get better at running to my room first and putting myself into time out before I let the kids have it; even when they deserve to be disciplined, they deserve a mom whose eyes aren’t bulging. I’d also like to be better at taking breaks for myself that really restore my mental health, instead of just scrolling through Instagram while trying to fall asleep and wishing I had become a fashion blogger ten years ago and made a million dollars.
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| Can I just be honest? I hate my hair in this picture. Probably should have washed it that day. |
3) Be a better GIRLFRIEND TO MY HUSBAND: Brad works a lot and I’m crazy. We don’t get a lot of quality time together during the week, and when we are finally around each other, I’m basically a deflated, beaten up blow-up doll version of myself. (12 hours straight with three little kids is a TASK, I tell you.) Treating Brad more like my boyfriend, and vice versa, could only help our entire family. That involves texting him throughout the day to tell him something funny or mildly interesting, being excited when he’s home and CONVERSING with him (instead of ordering him around), and actually sitting on the couch side by side instead of across the room. It also involves making date night a serious priority, even if it’s an at-home date night while the kids are asleep. (Thank you, Lisa, for the motivation.)
4) Run a MARATHON for fun, not for time: Running is incredibly therapeutic for me, so it’s a high priority in my life. But I don’t push myself too hard at it and typically keep to my regular thang. I’ve run a few halves, and ran a full marathon . . . almost five years ago. It was a rather awful experience. (I probably got the opposite of “runner’s high” from that race.) I’d like to stare down the marathon evil-eyes and tackle it again. This time, I want to run it for fun (as fun as trying-not-to-poop-your-pants can be), instead of feeling depressed that I didn’t qualify for Boston. Because I’ve made peace with the fact that’s never going to happen. Ever.
What are some goals you’ve made for this coming year? I’d love to hear!
"Brad works a lot and I'm crazy." That cracked me up, same over here!
Glad you caught that! We are two peas.
Haha, I'm laughing at the above quote too because we're in the exact same boat over here. 🙂 You're like my much-better-looking twin. I love these goals! I had a similar goal about looking people in the eye and smiling, but I was thinking more about people outside my home but your goal reminds me I most need to apply it to those who matter most. So thank you. 🙂
You're a rockstar, I love your blog and your honesty. Amazing that I never ever ever would have thought you had any of these thoughts or "issues" (of which I am riddled with!) From the outside you are the picture of beauty and perfection, and getting a glimpse of your honestly makes you, well, more beautiful!! This year I am trying to get up early and exercise, even just a little bit, as I have never done either in the past. And stop ignoring my kids (which I am doing right now so I can read your blog, ha!)
You are one of the big reasons why I was so sad to leave Alameda. I felt like we were just starting a bosom friendship, like we had so much to share. I'm glad you're getting something out of this, because I seriously go topsy-turvy all day, debating if I should just delete the whole thing.
I LOVE your goals! And I like that you said "even just a little bit," because I feel like that's the key to getting into a good habit. You've got to be kind to yourself or why try anything new!
Give those kids squeezes from me.
I'm sure you're already doing a GREAT job at home! And I seriously want you to do a post on the wild kid movement you told me about. And I LOLd at "much-better-looking twin," because seriously–go look at yourself!
GREAT goals Monica! I could pretty much just copy and paste all of them for things for me to work on. And you could totally qualify for boston. In fact, I bet you'll find with no pressure and just doing it for fun you do awesome on your races. I didn't really train to quality for boston I just followed a training schedule and did it b/c I LOVE to run and it just happened. Never say never friend! You are AWESOME!
That's true, never say never. But, you are a rockstar! You eat marathons for breakfast. It's almost been 5 years, so they scare me that much. I'm super impressed that you run them AND are so fast!