In this coaching call we dive deep into a struggle that many of us face: balancing responsibilities while finding time for fun and nurturing our souls. If you’ve ever felt like the joy and spontaneity have dwindled amidst your daily grind, then this conversation is a must-listen.
Andi and I explore practical, down-to-earth strategies to bring more joy into your everyday moments. We talk about how to make mundane tasks fun, setting aside dedicated time for activities that light us up, and the importance of soul-care. We even touch upon the idea of incorporating fun into both solo and family activities. Join us as we unravel the steps to make fun a priority, without it feeling like just another item on your to-do list.
Andi’s podcast, Importance of Play Article, Episode with Catherine Price
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TRANSCRIPT
Monica Packer: Andi, thanks for doing this coaching call with me.
Andi Smiley: I am so excited to be here. This is going to be fun and probably a little bit hard, but that’s the point.
Monica Packer: Fun and hard that I can get behind with our coaching calls. I think that’s the perfect description of what I hope a coaching call feels like. So let’s share a little bit about you and not let’s, can you, can you share a little bit about yourself?
Andi Smiley: Yes. Okay. My name is Andi. I have three littles, a six, four and two year old. I have a podcast and a business and it’s been really awesome and fulfilling, but also I feel like there’s no time for me anymore.
Monica Packer: Okay. So does that lead to why you’re here today? Yes.
Andi Smiley: I feel like I worry, maybe not worry. I I’m concerned that there is like no fun left in my life.
My podcast used to be fun. Well, it still is fun. That sounds bad. It still is fun, but it’s business now too. And so I feel like all of my outlets for fun have, have dwindled. And I know that fun is. It’s something I need in my life, but I’m not sure how to fit it in or where to find it. Hmm.
Monica Packer: Your work is really fulfilling.
But it’s not fun. And that’s, that’s good to say, like, it’s a privilege to say my work is fulfilling. And it’s a good work, but I need this space for fun. Why does having fun matter to you?
Andi Smiley: So my husband’s a therapist. So we really love therapy. And when I talk to my therapist about. Like the different parts of me.
Usually we end up talking about how responsibility kind of takes the wheel and just like goes. And that there’s a fun part of me that like doesn’t get very much airtime. But when we talked about When we talked about that truly, I literally started crying because I don’t want that to be my life. I don’t want my obituary to say, Andi was responsible.
I want it to be, Andi had a lot of fun. And so, but I, I’m still struggling on like the how, like how to make that happen. Cause I know that that’s what I want, but I just don’t know where to fit it in. And I don’t know, like, I know what things I can do to have fun. Like I know how I’ve had fun in the past, but I don’t know how to, incorporate that into my life right now.
Monica Packer: And what do you think is the biggest obstacle to incorporating fun?
Andi Smiley: I feel like my first answer is time. I feel like I don’t have time, but I think that feels kind of like a lie because I feel like if I were to prioritize it, I could fit it in somewhere. Better because like right now my main form of fun is reading. I love to read. I love reading fiction and right now I can fit it in like when the kids are in the bathtub for like five or 10 minutes or like, I can, I can fit it in the cracks, but like, I don’t want to have to fit it in the cracks.
I want it to be. Like part of my life that I can plan on instead of it just being a thing that I do sometimes when I have a minute.
Monica Packer: So when you say that it’s less about time, all of it is a factor. I mean, legitimately, circumstantially, that is a factor. Yeah, that’s where we are right now. Yeah. The bigger source of that struggle, though, is Prioritizing that time for yourself for the fun. Yeah. Why do you feel like you struggle to prioritize it then?
I feel like there’s so many other things that have to get done in a day. And so how am I supposed to, you know, Also have fun. Like, I feel like my to do list is so long that putting fun on there feels super irresponsible.
Monica Packer: Oh my goodness. I was just writing that word down.
Andi Smiley: Yeah. But when I say it out loud, when I say it out loud, that feels really sad.
Like Andi, you deserve to have fun. But like, I, my inner person is like, Nope, we don’t have time for that.
Monica Packer: So there’s like competing sides of you, right? The side that’s trying to be responsible. Which is good, but also the side of you wants to enjoy life and not just have the cracks be where we’re squeezing in fun, you know, when it happens, or if you have a time, it’s so those two sides are competing.
Andi Smiley: Yes, and I feel like the responsibility side usually wins out.
Monica Packer: Is that something that has been that way for you for a long time? Is it more like, okay, tell me a little bit more about that.
Andi Smiley: I was one of those teenagers that like had a planner. I’ve just kind of always been someone that was like responsible, right.
Someone you could rely on. And I’ve realized in the past, probably couple of years, that it’s nice to be someone that you can rely on, but it’s more nice to have fun. It’s more nice to, like, do things that I want to do instead of just be someone that, gets stuff done. , I still want to get stuff done, but I don’t want to, let that get in the way of me, living a full, beautiful, fun life.
Monica Packer: So you feel like you’ve been living the, the consequences out in some ways. Yeah. Okay. What are those? Well, truly, some of the positive consequences are that I have a successful business, and I have a successful podcast, and my family is well taken care of, and we all eat three meals a day. Like, those are some positives, but I feel like the negatives are, like, I only let myself really have fun when we go on vacation.
Andi Smiley: Or at the end of the day, I just feel exhausted, but I also feel like, what did I do that was, like, fun, or what thing did I do today that I can look forward to tomorrow, or, you know, like, I feel like sometimes I go to bed, like, well, I just did a lot of stuff for everyone else, but, and for my business, which is technically for me, but like, It just doesn’t feel fun.
I, yeah, that sounds, I feel like fun is just really, like, has a lot of, like, connotations, I guess, in my head. Fun defines a lot of things. And even though it’s a really simple word. What does it define? I feel like it defines, , taking care of me. Okay. In a way that feels, like, free. Like, there’s no strings attached.
Monica Packer: And with no strings, what does that mean? Sorry, go ahead.
Andi Smiley: Yeah, it feels like there’s no, there’s no like reason for it, right? It’s not so that there’s dinner on the table or so that I can be healthy or like, it’s just
Monica Packer: to feed my soul. It is so fascinating to me that you were describing how fun is about no strings attached, not having responsibilities, not having something about it that matters.
And yet you say how it connects to your soul.
Andi Smiley: Hmm.
Monica Packer: Yeah. Yeah. Which is a really. important string.
Andi Smiley: Yeah.
Monica Packer: Are you connecting some dots? Yeah.
Andi Smiley: Well, I feel like. It just makes me feel a little silly. Fun is essential for my soul, but I, it’s so low on the priority list, that feels like a gigantic disconnect in my life. Yeah.
Well, and truly it feels like. It feels like taking care of me is really low on the to do list, right? Like, yes,
but like taking well and even more specifically taking care of my soul is low on the priority list, right? Like I work out, I try and work out at least three times a week, right? Or like move my body or whatever, but like, Because I think, I feel like I can see the evidence of that, maybe? And I’ve read a bunch of books that tell me that working out is good, but like, I feel like there are less books about telling me to have fun for my soul, to be happy and healthy.
Monica Packer: You’re right. Unless you read The Power of Fun by Catharine Price. That’s a good one. I know. Truly, it’s on my list because, because of this exact thing. Because I feel like my logical brain is like, give me some research, Andi, and then I will be more inclined. I’m like, okay, fine. It’s on the list. I mean, in many ways, talking to you feels like I’m talking to myself.
Because this is a big, big Point of interest for me. It’s been a big point of focus has also been a big point of a struggle, an internal struggle of balancing out these two sides of myself, one that really honors my responsibilities and doing a good job of showing up for these responsibilities that are the biggest priorities Of my life, you know, my relationships and taking care of those people and showing up for them and also my, my work and while those sides are very important and valid and need to be honored, they take up so much space that it’s trying to find the balance and not in the balance, like the way everyone describes online.
Let’s have balance you guys that doesn’t exist, but more being able to balance it. Like my friend, Crystal Lee Beck calls it the teeter totter. Of knowing when those really important things need to be deprioritized a bit, just a bit at different times and not a lot of time, but deprioritize, put a little bit down sometimes to balance out and reprioritize these deeper things, these deeper sides of ourselves that don’t often have a visible, visible outcome that have a very important outcome that is so internal that it will feed everything on that teeter totter, no matter where it is in that balance.
Right. And everything will go smoother. If my soul gets some fun, right? Like I feel when I feel more fulfilled, I’m a better mom. When I feel more fulfilled, I’m able to, like, I’m able to like, be excited about my business and like hop on social media and talk to people.
Andi Smiley: When like my soul is full and happy and like ready to like help others. It’s so much, it’s just so much easier, but I feel like
Monica Packer: you’ve got to live it out now. Yeah. Like, you know, you know, the why to myself, right? Like, yeah, I mean, the way that you were able to just rattle that all off, like you, you know, the, why, you know, the outcomes, you know, how, not only is this an important part of your life that is missing and how important that is, but also how vital it is to all the other parts functioning well, and being able to show up to those parts even better.
Then you’re able to, because there’s someone inside, you know, not just a robot doing their responsibilities. You’ll, you’ll add so much more fun to your work, to, to your responsibilities as a mother and as a wife, so you’ve got your why, which is really good. So now we’re going to talk more about what is fun for you and how to do this, but in ways that maybe.
will be a little bit different than maybe you thought coming into this call. Okay. Love it. Please. Yes. So you told me you like to read fiction. That’s fun to you. I love reading. Yes. Okay. What else is on your list of fun? This is fun for Andi. Okay. This one feels gigantic, but I do love to travel, but truly a smaller version of that is I love to do new things.
Andi Smiley: Like I like to try new restaurants. I like to go, like go to a park with the kids. Like, Even like new is fun for me. Hmm. What else are we the same person? I mean, I mean, maybe there’s probably more like us out there, I also really like to dance actually.
Dance feels weird to say as a. 30 something year old, but just dancing feels good to me. And I feel like I get a taste of that. Um, I recently, I guess it’s been a little while now I started high fitness and I love it. I really love, like I used to try running with my partner, Scott and.
I hated it. I hated it. I knew that it was good for me, but as soon as I tried high, I was like, Oh, this is so much more fun and I’m way more into it and I’m like, getting way more out of this. Like, it was kind of like a, Oh, this is a thing that I love that I have not done in a very long time.
That makes me smile.
Monica Packer: Just thinking about all of that. Okay, so we’ve got fiction, travel, maybe planning your travel can be part of the fun, doing new things, dancing, high fitness. What else? We’re kind of creating a possibility list here. What’s even possible?
Andi Smiley: Um, I guess to go along with reading, I just love to go to libraries.
That feels slightly lame when I say it, but I do, I love a library, any library. Um, oh, I do like to go to plays. We go to Hale Center Theater in Orem. Shout out. We love that place. Stop it! We have season tickets. We’ve had them for a couple of years, my mom and I. It’s so fun. That’s
Monica Packer: amazing.
Andi Smiley: Yeah. So that’s, that’s a fun thing.
Monica Packer: But that’s something you already do. Yeah, that’s true. That is something I already do. Okay. No, but this is good. Like, you’re still getting things you like. You like experiences, it sounds like. I do. For sure. Honestly, something fun is like going on a walk. I really like going on walks. Okay. Okay. Bye. By yourself or with other people?
Andi Smiley: Um,
I have probably gone on a walk by myself like one time in the past five years, but I think it would be fun. I feel like with Littles, I have not prioritized that. But I also like to walk to new places. Or like, walk new paths in my neighborhood, that was something that came out of 2020. Be like, cool, what neighborhood are we going to walk this week?
So
Monica Packer: yeah. I call that my covet walks when I get to look at other people’s houses while I walk. Yes. But I actually love it. Oh my gosh,
Andi Smiley: yes. Be like, ooh, I like that. Or, ooh, I would never have a house like that. Definitely did that recently with my whole family. But yes.
Monica Packer: Yes. Okay. Anything else on this possibility list?
Andi Smiley: Okay, I’m just going to talk it out because I can’t figure it out, and I feel like talking it out is going to help. I like to like, dream about what my house could look like. Ooh. Like, if you’ve ever heard of Joyful by Ingrid Fatel Lee, one of my favorite books of all time. Um, she I’ve got it on my shelf.
Monica Packer: Have I read it yet? Oh, do you? No. Oh, you need to read it? Yes. Listen to it. I love listening to the audiobook. And you can get through it faster. That’s why I haven’t read it yet. Cause it’s on, it’s a physical book. But the book’s really fun to look at the picture. So, so, um, but she has a course all about designing a joyful home and it has been so much fun to go through with Scott and be like, okay, so what are, what’s the simple thing we can do to make our house more joyful and like the follow through isn’t always as much fun, but the like planning and the thinking about what can make our house more joyful, super fun.
Andi Smiley: Okay. Oh, I also like to go hike on hikes. Sorry. That’s another one. I absolutely love. I love. Well, just like being outside in the mountains. Yeah. Okay. But hiking is like the best way to do that right now with littles. I don’t really like to camp with littles. So I understand that. Okay. So what we’ve got here are some good threads.
Monica Packer: Uh, you like to use your imagination. It sounds like with some things like fiction or maybe planning travel, you like to experience new things. So there’s like a, a thread of adventure. You like the outdoors, anything being outside. So that’s another thread. Okay. Um, body movement. That’s another one. Moving your body is a big part of all, like almost all of these that I can see.
Um, it sounds like sometimes, you know, being with others too can be an element there. And especially as a stay at home mom, I feel like that social aspect feels fun most of the time. Well, with other adults. Yes. This may be the only thing that we are not twins on because, like, it’s so fun for me to go on a walk by myself.
Well, that’s true, too. But I’m working on it, too, because I’m telling you, once I am around people, then I’m like, oh, wait, no, this is, this is good, too. This is good. Okay, yeah, yeah. Well, I think it’s, for me, it’s just, like, I’m surrounded by little humans all day. Yeah. And then it’s like, oh, yeah. I just need, I just need space in my brain that isn’t filled with tiny voices that are adorable and sweet and I love them, but like, I need a break sometimes.
Andi Smiley: Okay. Yeah. All right. And all, you know, and all of these, like the biggest start is it’s a break from responsibilities. It’s a break from having like ways to prove this is how I was productive today. This is what I produced. This is what I created. This is who I helped. This is what I did. Yeah. Even though, like we said, the deeper outcomes are internal and matter just as much.
Yeah. Here’s what we’re going to do from here. Okay. Step one. Step one is about reprioritizing your soul care. Okay. Making this of equal importance, or at least on the list, because a lot of times when people say equal importance, they’re going to think, well, that means I’m like spending the exact same amount of time on my soul care as I am, our responsibilities.
Monica Packer: And I don’t mean it that way. I just mean it needs to carry weight on your teeter totter. It needs to be able to weigh things down sometimes, you know, so it can be prioritized a little bit more sometimes than the other things. So that you can then have more weight to give to those other areas. Right.
Okay. One thing, you know, we talked about re prioritizing your self care, validating it, honoring it, seeing it as just as worthwhile as anything that can produce a tangible outcome. Right. Okay. And the way we’re going to do that. is honestly by living it out. I think we can believe something, but until we’re living it out and we see the proof and we’re actually proved wrong in many ways about our fears about prioritizing something, um, then we’re able to actually feel it more.
And it’s almost becomes a cycle, you know, honoring it, validating it through action helps us honor it and validate it better, which creates more of those actions. It’s this beautiful cycle. So we’re not going to wait for you to feel it completely. Yes. Yeah. We’re going to have you start living it out. And there’s three ways I want to suggest I’m doing that.
Okay. Because I want you to leave today with more of like a, I know what I’m going to do from here. Okay. Love that. Yes, please. The first one is moment to moment. This is the first way moment to moment. This is where you don’t necessarily need plans in place. That’s next. We’re going to talk about that, but this one is moment to moment.
How can I inject fun into the things I am already doing? My kids already need to get out of the house. So how can I make that fun? Can we walk somewhere new? Can we go to a new park? Can we have a fun treat on the way home? Can we bring a different snack? You know, is there a way to blast the music mom loves on the way to this place?
Totally. That’s one example, but you can do that within your responsibilities. It’s finding ways to interject those threads we talked about, adventure, outdoor connection, body movement, um, doing something new into your responsibilities. It’s finding those moments. Totally. How’s that feeling? Just that first, that first way.
Andi Smiley: Truly, it feels good because I feel like my brain wanted to go to where am I going to fit this in? But I feel like this is the, this is an answer, right? You fit it in with stuff you’re already doing. So, like, maybe like Wednesdays I get to choose all the music wherever we go or something. Like, I guess that’s still planning.
But like, I like the idea of Instead of carving out time, when sometimes that’s hard, I like the idea that, like, we’re still gonna go out, the kids need to get out of the house, so let’s go to the library, where I love to go. Like, that feels good. Yes! Going to a new library, too. Yes, we have to spend 10 minutes in the section where I can look at the books that I want to look at or something like that.
But truly, I love the picture books too, so I’m not complaining there.
Monica Packer: Yeah, no, I’m with you on all of this. Okay, so this is good. Moment to moment, okay? Now, the second way. Is more of a strategy, I guess. And this one is just more to plan it, to plan it. And I would say this can look like a couple of different things.
One is to have, to sign up for dance class. So that way it’s like on your calendar, you’re going to the adult hip hop class, you know, whatever it is, um, by the way, that is something I’m going to be signing up for myself. So maybe we can
Andi Smiley: do that. Maybe we can like parallel universes, like, Hey, I’m going, you’re going to it’s tonight.
Yeah.
Monica Packer: So there’s a way to do that, you know, or, or sign up for the high fitness classes. That seems like you already do that, but have something there that it puts gets put on your more of that. Okay. But another way is to also. Set aside beyond just like these things where you’re like, I am signed up for something and I’m dedicated to going, but also thinking about setting aside one morning or one afternoon a week where it’s your time.
It’s just your time. And you get to fill it the way you want to during that time. And I’m going to tell you that this is. As important as anything else on your list, and like having a committed carved out time where you get to explore what fun looks like for you that day. I’ll just give you a quick example.
The fall before my baby was born, so a little over a year ago, was one of the busiest times of my entire life because I was preparing for maternity leave. Taking care of, you know, my family, but also doing a lot business wise that had to be in place for me to have that baby. It was, it was like full on sprint every day.
And my planner was just so intense, but every Friday morning I would take my four year old and we would go treasure hunting. And we would go to the thrift stores that I love around here just for like an hour and we would treasure hunt and then we would get a little treat or something else on the way home if we had time.
Um, other times what I would do is like, on my calendar, like a week or so in advance, I would, well, that Mike, that Friday morning was always carved out. There were no work calls. There was nothing scheduled during that time. No appointments, no gross, no errands. That was completely blacked out. That was the, that, that fun time.
But I also in advance would say like two Thursday mornings this month, I’m going to go on a hike with a friend and I would literally put it on my calendar and text a friend in advance. So we have the accountability and have that there. And those Two little things saved me and the amount of time it took, like in an entire month, it probably took, I mean, four hours at minimum throughout an entire month.
And then, you know, if I went on a hike too, it may be another two hours each time because we did small hikes locally, we still kept it easy. So how does that feel to you to have an actual chunk of hours that is carved out for fun?
Andi Smiley: It honestly feels idyllic. Like, I feel like that sounds glorious. And truly, when you first said it, in my mind, I was by myself, doing whatever I wanted. But, when you said, you know, you went treasure hunting with your 4 year old, like, why can’t I include, it would probably be my 4 and 2 year old, but like, why can’t I include them in it, you know?
Or maybe, you know, two of the Fridays or whatever day, I include them and then the other two are just me or whatever. Like,
Monica Packer: Yeah, it could just be Friday fun day. I mean, cause that’s what I did too is, and this is a whole other topic of conversation. But in, we had a whole year of focusing on fun as a family.
Healed our family after a really couple stressful years, um, with the pandemic and move and special needs and all that kind of stuff. So Fridays can be fun day. Maybe the morning is like an hour just for you and the afternoons. It’s them, or if they have an early release one day from school, maybe those afternoons are your fun time.
It doesn’t have to be the same day either. This can be with people, it can be alone. But for me, I always need a little time alone for just myself, um, so you get to figure that out.
Andi Smiley: Yeah. And I, and I’m realizing that
this sounds lame, but like it is doable, right? Like it doesn’t have to be this gigantic thing for it to be helpful. And maybe The small thing isn’t going to be like the thing that saves my soul, but like, I feel like starting small is, is then I can prove to myself that is good. And then I’m willing to give more time.
Right. Yeah. And one of the proving yourself wrong things is you’re going to see more of what the results are and outcomes that like prove, Oh wait, there are actual tangible outcomes that helped me further validate that this matters, that this is a priority. Yeah.
Yeah,
I think it does just need to go on my calendar. It needs to go on my planner. Like, it’s a thing. It needs to, it can’t just be a thing that happens in the cracks. It has to be, like, on my calendar. Yes, this is important, Andi. Like, and I, and I know, and I think, like you said, having the Y by itself isn’t enough.
And when I have it on the calendar, I can remember that lie and know that it’s there for a reason. And this is where, , someone like, an introvert like me, who’s basically would love to be a hermit, It actually did help me to have some accountability with having a friend, one friend just joined me on a hike.
Monica Packer: So that way I did prioritize it better because someone else was waiting for me to, um, where you can, you can use that option if it helps you. But if we’re in the spirit of starting small, what would that look like for you to schedule it? Is it signing up for a dance class? Maybe that’s just the way you just try this out for a bit, or is it having a Friday fun day for yourself or early release day, you know, You’re out afternoon with the fun.
What sounds good to you that, you know, I’m committing to this Monica, at least for now. And I can do the other things with time.
Andi Smiley: Yeah,
Monica Packer: I think.
Andi Smiley: Yikes. Okay. I feel like my brain is like, Whoa, Andi, like where, like, where are you going to fit it in? Dance class feels too, like, I want to, like, my soul’s like, yes, Andi, but I don’t know when I would fit it in. So maybe, okay, so maybe this is what I’m gonna say. I’m gonna say I’m gonna figure out a day to try and do it because right now I don’t know what day that would be.
My schedule feels very full, but I also want to look at dance classes to see if there is, like, a night that I could. Go like that, like there’s dance class that already has a night that I could go because nights are usually the easiest because kids are in bed. So people are more willing, like one of my.
Like relatives is more willing to just hang out at the house while the kids are sleeping.
Monica Packer: And in my experience, that’s, um, when most adult dance classes are, or a lot of them, they do have night classes. Because they know that’s when people can do it. Right, that makes sense. Okay, so you’re going to research a dance class.
Yes. Is there any other small doable way that you can schedule it? Can you give yourself an empty window somewhere? Or that doesn’t feel doable right now. I want to go with what’s going to be the most doable.
Andi Smiley: Well, truly, okay, so I, we have a rec center past. This is like a side note, but, and I am, I used to use, and they have child watch, so my kids would go and hang out for like an hour, hour and a half, and I would work, but I’m realizing that I need that, so maybe that’s what it is, is when I go to the rec center on I usually go on Wednesdays and Fridays.
Let’s say Fridays because Friday, Sunday, um, instead of working, I’m going to read a book or watch a show and maybe I’ll walk while I do it. Or maybe I’ll just sit on a couch upstairs in the rec center and just do it. Cause that sounds. Delightful.
Monica Packer: And that’s still a good ideal, but let’s give yourself a baseline version of this.
Like what’s the smallest version of that, that you can do is maybe it’s just a certain chunk of that time. If you have a really busy work or something going on with the deadline, so you may still need to work that day. Um, what could be the doable amount for you?
Andi Smiley: Okay. I love that. I think maybe like the first 30 minutes so that I know that it will happen.
Okay. I get to. Like do whatever I want. If that’s read a book, watch a show or whatever for the first 30 minutes on Friday
Monica Packer: or travel, make, you know, travel plans or, Oh yes. I’m not, I’m looking at your list to , think about something new that you want to try, you know, make some plans or, you know, so no matter what.
It’s about those kind of threads that you’re honoring.
Andi Smiley: Yeah, and I like that because then it doesn’t feel like, Oh, I have to go read my book. It’s like, no, Andi, you can go figure out where to go next. Yeah,
Monica Packer: you can do whatever the heck you want during this. Whatever feels
Andi Smiley: fun
Monica Packer: that
Andi Smiley: day.
Monica Packer: Yes. Whatever feels fun.
And that’s kind of what I like. It’s a set time, but it’s also open.
Andi Smiley: Totally. Yeah. It’s blanked out on the calendar, but I can do whatever I want.
Monica Packer: And then with time, as you’re getting more of those effects and you’re seeing them and you’re honoring them, you’re validating them better. You can say actually an hour or actually I’m going to do it on these days of the week and take two hours, you know, or, you know, so like you get to decide or you’re, that may be enough for you.
And that’s the funnest part about baselines. And I usually teach us with habits, but it’s the same with anything that you’re trying to insert in your life. Right. A lot of women say, guess what? That’s all I needed.
Andi Smiley: I
Monica Packer: only needed 30 minutes. Or I only needed 5 minutes of journaling. And it gave me the same effect that I wanted out of writing 2 pages a day.
And you’re like, yeah. Totally. Okay, so we’ve got moment to moment. We’ve got schedule it. And the third thing I want you to consider that will help both of those is do you have a DSL this year? A do something list.
Andi Smiley: I have. Um, truly I made a bingo card, which is I think a version of DSL. It is.
Monica Packer: Okay. Well, the reason I was bringing up a do something list is because if you had a do something list or some kind of way that is giving you that little push to focus on parts of yourself, that’s what the do something list is for.
And if you want to just have a push to focus on fun, having something like that, that feels so good to just check off or to like share on your Instagram, like here’s like, I checked this off or I did this. And that was on my, on my list. It helps you explore it. In new ways, we’re going to get more ideas and you’re going to pick up more threads of what it feels like to be yourself.
Also that fun piece of it and that fun element.
Andi Smiley: Yeah, totally. Well, truly I’m realizing on my bingo card is to sign up for BAMF’s class. So like, I feel like I was kind of on the, I didn’t realize I was on the path, but I was like, Hey, you really need this,
Monica Packer: Andi. So make this happen. Hey, I love that bingo. A bingo card sounds really, really fun.
Okay. So what we’ve got moment to moment schedule it and explore it some way. And that gives you a push, you know, having some kind of like, uh, yeah, you said like a list of some sort so that you can know, like, this is what I’m trying out. This is what I’m going to explore and try and do. Okay. I feel like we are in a better place than when we started, but I want to know from you, if you feel that way, is that just me?
It feels better. Yeah.
Andi Smiley: Well, I feel like my why feels more concrete, like I knew it in the back of my head, but now it’s like, yes, Andi, your soul needs, you need to take care of your soul. Just like you need to take care of your body.
Monica Packer: Yeah.
Andi Smiley: That feels good. And I feel like I have tangible ways to do that.
That don’t feel like overwhelming. Like how am I even going to do this? Like 30 minutes on Fridays before I start working when the kids are at childcare, like that or child watch. That feels. and also like exciting that I have it. Like in my calendar.
Monica Packer: Okay. Yeah, this is great. So I’m actually going to end on a not so fun note with you.
And that’s to beware of the follow through feelings. And this is where like, right now we’re feeling good. But this first time that you’re going to go and have the child watch and do this, suddenly you’re going to get the dreads or like the, the overwhelm or like the, Oh, I don’t want to do this. Or like, Oh, this is hard.
That’s normal. Okay. Just expect it and do it. Anyway, I actually have a whole episode of preparing on this because it’s a very common thing.
Andi Smiley: Um, okay. I don’t know what I’m going
Monica Packer: to call it yet, but something about, you know, the follow through dreads or you just doesn’t like every time I take my kids skiing, I’m like, I hate this.
Until we’re done. And then I’m like, I love it. That’s the best thing we do. Yeah.
Andi Smiley: I’m trying to think of, but yeah, I get what you’re saying. I know that I’ve felt that way before. I can’t think of an example right now, but yeah, well, truly it’s probably almost any time I go into a social situation, like a party or something.
I’m like, why am I going? And then at the end, I’m like, yep, I needed this desperately.
Monica Packer: Yes. Yeah. Yes. Okay. So you’re going to have that, let’s say you decide to go on a walk with a friend. You put it on your calendar and you’re going and the night before you’re like, I’m going to cancel.
Andi Smiley: Yes,
Monica Packer: or the morning of.
I do not want to do this. just know that’s going to come and it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. You still got to do it anyway. Prove that brain wrong, prioritize it, feel the effects of it. And let’s go back to that repeating the cycle in a good way. Okay.
Andi Smiley: Totally. Okay. Thank you for the reminder. Cause that I feel like then it’s like, no, Monica said that was going to happen.
I saw him do it. Like I can, I can talk back to my brain
Monica Packer: and it’s more doable when you have a doable way to do it. So like, you’re like, okay, I can, I actually can do this because it’s just 30 minutes. Yes.
Andi Smiley: And I planned it and I knew it was going to be easy when I did it, when I planned it. So we’re going to just do it and we’re going to see how it goes.
Monica Packer: Yes. Okay. All right. This is great. I think we’ve got a good plan for you. Is there anything in particular that you’re going to want to make sure you take away from this call? Something you want to remember? Truly,
Andi Smiley: like that my soul deserves to be taken care of. Like, like when I think of my daughters, I want them to prioritize soul care from the get go.
I don’t want them to have to learn how to do it when they’re 30. Like I want them to know immediately. And I feel like one of the best ways for them to know is by seeing their mom do it.
Monica Packer: There was an Instagram post that went around a while back and it’s pretty simple. All it said is I’ve never seen a relaxed woman.
That one really struck me because I realized, yeah, growing up, I feel like there’s only one woman I could think of that I would have thought she was relaxed. And in many ways, That’s a privilege.
Andi Smiley: Yeah.
Monica Packer: It is. But at the same time, there’s something to that about being able to model a fulfilling life, not one that’s only about getting stuff done.
But about being a person living a life.
Andi Smiley: Yeah, that deserves to relax. Because we all do. It
Monica Packer: deserves
Andi Smiley: to have fun. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like when I put it in the perspective of my daughters, well, and my son, but like, I feel like it’s just harder. For me. Yeah, no, I get it. Like, it’s just like, I want them to know that them having fun is just as important as them getting stuff done.
Add that to your why. Yeah.
Monica Packer: Let’s end with that. You know, feels so good. Thank you so much for being here, Andi. I appreciate it.
Andi Smiley: Oh my goodness. Thank you so much. This has been amazing. I’m so excited for Friday now.
Monica Packer: Good. Okay. So from here, you got to tell me how it goes. And that’s what I always offer to people who do these, these chats.
Email me, give me an update. Ask questions. If you have those follow through dreads, um, then let me know and I can help you work through it a little bit here and there. And yeah. Get you to the other side. Love it. Thank you.
Andi Smiley: Yes. I’m sure I’ll at least send you an email, it’d be like, Hey, it worked, that’s, that’s the goal.
That’s the plan.
Monica Packer: And I’d love to be your accountability buddy there. So, okay. Well, that was so good. Let me, let me stop.
I
Andi Smiley: write a lot of notes. I should have told you that. I love it. No, I love it. Truly. I have my notebook too for all of the notes that I’m sure I’ll be writing.
Monica Packer: For some reason, I’m a, I’m a written processor, even though I do not like to journal. So okay. It works for coaching though. Okay. So
