I started this blog right in the middle when I felt the most depleted as a mother. The demands on me were exceptionally high with a little baby who was very attached, an unpredictable (that’s a nice word to describe him, at the time) two year old, and a basically-traumatized-by-daily-life four year old. I felt sucked dry, honestly, for a year. I had nothing left to give, but I had to keep giving.
I wrote a few posts while in the trenches (here, here, and here) and I can read those now and see that I was completely drowning. But those posts? That writing? That attempt at joining millions of public accounts on Instagram? That’s what got me through it. That is what helped me rediscover my strength. That is what helped me regain my confidence in mothering.
That’s why I started my Do Something campaign. Because my little attempts at being brave–at doing something outside of my mothering responsibilities–was getting me out of a terrible pit. That writing–that investment in myself, trying something that scared me (starting a blog/Instagram) was more than just a little hobby; it was actually SAVING me.
While my pursuits certainly added a bit of stress, it was the good kind–the kind that was motivating, the kind that was only mine, that it was just for me. So while it took energy, self-doubt, and lots of time, it also ADDED energy back into my soul that I needed to get through that very demanding period of motherhood. It seems counterintuitive, but it’s something I now swear by. (Oh, and parenting expert, Ralphie Jacobs, stands by this thinking too–this will benefit your children!)
So, if you mothers (and dads!) find yourself in a similar place as me–lost, unrecognizable, and unsure how you can continue in this way–please do something about it. It doesn’t have to be public, like it was for me. But do something that you’ve been wanting to do, thinking about, or interested in. It doesn’t matter if it takes five minutes out of your day or a few hours. It’s worth the investment, it’s worth the neglected household chores, it’s worth the added (but energizing!) stress.
And then maybe you’ll see a little transformation like I did. You’ll be “you” again.
I spoke more about this time in my motherhood with Reagan from the Luckiest Mom Podcast and what I did to get out of it.
I loved her interviewing style and this podcast is much shorter than my own, which I think people appreciate! Here’s where you can find Reagan: website, Instagram, and podcast. And my episode is “Do Something” on her podcast feed, which you can find by searching for “The Luckiest Mom” wherever you get your podcasts.
PS: My Do Something campaign is still going strong. I now highlight people on my podcast as part of my special monthly episode. If you’re “Doing Something,” however small or big, tell me about it. Or nominate a friend/loved one. Let’s share how moms are saving themselves, one hobby/interest/pursuit at a time!
Lisa says
Monica, you're making me feel like there's more to life than using my limited free time to eat chocolate chips and binge watch shows on Netflix. 😀
Monica Packer says
There's CERTAINLY that, my friend!!! And that's what last night was for me. Heaven!
Nicole Dyer says
This has been so true for me too. Thank you for sharing this! I struggled for a while to know if it was ok to "do something" besides my role as house manager and mother. I'm so happy I figured that out. It is amazing how I feel so much better about myself and am able to be kinder to others (especially my children) when I'm working on my goals.