There was a time where I was exceptionally goal-driven. The problem was, that my main underlying goal was to be EXCEPTIONAL at everything, all things, no room for weakness.
So yes, I went a little crazy; OK, I went a lot crazy.
In an effort to become better balanced, I then became paralyzed for many years; meaning, I was scared to make big goals for myself out of fear that I would drift back into obsessive habits I wanted to avoid like the plague. Guess what? I wasn’t any happier for doing this either. It took me a long time to realize that.
The past year has been a big experiment for me. What if I made big goals for myself? What if I made scary goals? What if I made small goals? And what if I didn’t allow fear of failure or embarrassment get in the way of me bettering myself?
Essentially, I’ve been attempting to combine the Perfectionist Monica–the one who was an OCD planner and inexhaustible worker driven by fear–and the Paralyzed Monica–the one who basically floated through life, also out of fear–and put them together into the Real Monica. Real Monica would be the one who made goals and pushed herself, but was no longer letting fear get in the way; the Monica who wasn’t afraid of messing up, because that’s going to happen.
Those goals? They ranged from starting this here blog, joining the millions on Instagram, taking on some interior design clients, reading a certain number of books, attending a number of new fitness classes, starting a podcast, and learning how to swim.
The result? A mixed bag.
All my efforts take an incredible amount of work. Most days, I get up at 5:20 and go to bed the earliest at 11:00 PM. I work my hinny off during nap time and the second the kids are asleep at night. I spend very little “pleasure” time on social media, as I gear my time towards “work;” even that time is extremely limited because I literally don’t have the time. I essentially only “read” through audio books and get my news through podcasts. My blog gets read, but only tends to receive collaboration offers from weird people in foreign countries or ones that really aren’t the right match and the right time. My podcast has had some awesome stats, and some very mediocre; I am VERY anxious about how to continue with it. I have no design clients right now and made nothing on the others. I’m learning how to swim, but I basically almost drown every time I go and practically cry each morning I wake up and know it’s my swim day. I am often stressed, riddled with self-doubt, and my eyeballs hurt (which somehow seems related).
But guess what?
I’m happier than I’ve been in a very, very long time.
I’m happier because I feel like “me” again. I feel a drive and a spark for life. I feel excited about where things could take me. I feel worthwhile. I feel like I’m increasing in my capacities and making things happen. I’m happy because I’m trying. I’m happy because I feel as though I am going through a metamorphosis, transforming into the “Real Monica.”
The kicker is? Goals, people. It started with making goals. Goals are powerful! They can lead to a metamorphosis, if you’re doing them right.
I share more on this topic on my podcast today. I speak about the power of goals, some stories about my progress (and failures) with my goals this year, and THREE TIPS on how to make your goals work for YOU, rather than the other way around. With those tips, I go into a few tales, such as how I started my blog/podcast, why I’m terrified of water, and how I’m tricking myself into learning how to swim.
Here’s a little spoiler for you with the tips:
1) Don’t Think Too Much
2) Make Room for Failure
3) Make Them Visible
(This is a shorter podcast and more informal than most of mine, and I hope to post once a month in a similar fashions, as has been requested.)
You can listen to this podcast below, or on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, Pocketcasts, Googleplay, or search for “About Progress” wherever you get your podcasts. If you like the show, please subscribe!!
Show Notes
More on Do Something
Monica’s Live List for 2017 and 30 Before 30
Monica’s posts on swimming: here and here
Monica’s other posts on goals: here, here, here, and here
The planner referenced
Podcast with Heather Fujikawa, mentioned
Podcast with Meg Miles, mentioned
Another goal-centered podcast with Jaimee Davis
More Podcasts
Monica’s Facebook and Instagram profiles
Contact Monica
